love list

photo by Rachelle Harlin

I am really in love with this baby. Like really really. 

Here are a few other things I am in love with right now:

Red Mush

my flowers and garden--the lilac bush is blooming!

beautiful spring weather

listening to Owen and Eli have hilarious conversations

my upcycled shelf (yep, I still love looking at it!)

big financial news that deserves, and will get, a post of its own :)

bbqs

my calling in Primary

The Mindy Project and New Girl (hilarious!)

having Tim around in the evenings because he's not teaching his class right now.

summer plans

having long hair

helping Tim decorate his very own new office

Mom

My friend, Melissa Wilson, recently shared this on her blog and it really rang true with me so I wanted to share. She is expecting her fifth child soon (this is hard to believe because our husbands were roommates and I can't quite think that it's been over a decade since then and now we have all these kids  . . .) In this particular post she was talking about some of the key things she's learned as a mom about what her kids need and what she's learning about her role as a mother. I especially appreciated how she acknowledges that being a mom is a learning and growing process--just because we have a child or children doesn't necessarily mean we know what the heck we're doing! Here are what I'm calling her "Great Eight," anyone have something to add? We could make it "Fine Nine" or "Zen Ten." Not sure I can think of a great rhyme for eleven though . . .

• When your kids try to show you something they have made, stop what you are doing and physically look at them while listening.  When they are done explaining, even if you don't understand half of what they have said, compliment their work.  A "Wow!  That is beautiful, " goes a long way when you are physically engaged with them.  But do yourself ONE better and give them a second compliment on something specific.  That shows them that you're not just regurgitating the same response every time they talk to you.  I have seen this work wonders with Jude.  He is so proud of everything he brings me and always walks away with a smile.  If you don't have three seconds to listen with EVERYTHING you have, tell them.  Explain that you really, really want to see their work - but you need to do it in a few minutes when you can give them all of your attention.  They usually understand.  

•  Raise your kids to be polite.  Don't just teach them to be polite to others, make them be polite to you.  As awkward as it seems to tell your kids to thank you for things, they need to be in that habit.  Rob and I usually try to remind them to thank the other parent like, "Wasn't it so nice that Dad took you to the movies?"  Even if I was there - then it doesn't seem like I am begging for a thank you.  My parents raised me this way, and I am SO grateful that they did.  Twenty years later I still know how much they loved me by their wanting me to be a great kid.   Great kids have great manners.  

• Work on the most strained relationship.  I will not say that parents have favorites, but I will say that just like the normal people in our lives, you get along better with different kids.  I also think this comes with ages and phases.  There are just some ages you connect better with, but that doesn't mean to give up on the kids when they are, well, awkward!  Try harder.  Find some area that you can connect with - even if it is small.  I have found that sending "Happy Wednesday,"  or "I love you tons," notes in lunches creates a bond and reminds my children that I am always thinking about them.  When your kids are at their weirdest, love them the most.  It's the love during those times that will get you through till the next phase.  Blow it then, and it might be gone for good.

• Be at everything.  When possible, go to your kids events.  Even if it is a forty-five minute, eardrum-busting orchestra concert, be there.  I have seen so many reactions of sad kids whose parents aren't in the audience: the kids who are dropped off, then picked up.  Obviously, we won't always be able to get to everything, but do your very best.  And if you can't be there, see if an aunt, grandparent, or cousin can fill in for you.  Nothing is worse than putting on a performance for a room full of strangers.  Apologize profusely for the times you can't make it.  Make sure your kids know that there's nowhere you'd rather be.  

• Let your kids see you love your spouse.  Don't always agree in front of your kids just for their sake, but don't fight angrily or emotionally in front of them.  Let your kids see you hug and kiss your spouse. A happy home raises happy kids.

• Sacrifice - sometimes, not always.  Yes, you need that break from your kids, but don't let your kids grow up remembering family activities that you weren't a part of.  Is Dad taking the kids hiking?  Go with - sometimes.  Wouldn't it be nice to stay home and relax while the kids are at that movie?  Yes, but they also need to see that you enjoyed spending your free time with them.  They don't always want to seem like the thing you were most eager to get a break from.  

• Don't be phased by all of the creative and Pinterest worthy activities you see on the internet.  It's fun to do something special for birthdays or IMPORTANT holidays, but your kids aren't going to be sad that your house didn't rock a red, white and blue breakfast for flag day.  Stretch yourself too thin, and there's nothing left.  And honestly, whose REAL life is that well put together?  Not mine! Balloons and streamers for birthdays, traditions for Christmas and Easter.  Your kids will adore you.  

• Most importantly, tell your kids that you love them.  Daily.  Take that one step further by telling them WHY you love them.  One of my favorite questions to ask my kids is, "Do you know why I love you?"  They come up with some really amazing answers.  Then I get to say things like, "I love you for being such a great big sister.  That makes me so proud."  They BEAM, and you know that they know. 

Upcycle

I think a lot of you have already seen this picture, but I never did post it on my blog, so here it is. This is a project I've been wanting to do for a LONG time. My cousin once showed me a blog where a woman had added crown molding to her cheap Walmart/Target/IKEA shelves and I liked how it looked. Last month there was a picture of the same project in the Better Homes and Gardens magazine in the section titled "I did it myself" and I thought, okay, let's do this! Originally, I was going to just do white trim but after seeing the picture and talking it out with my cousin, Rachelle, I decided to paint the trim a lovely shade of green. Rachelle helped me get the trim (you should have seen us with our 5 boys at Home Depot--wow. And then she helped me nail most of it up. Marcus helped me, too. I added a long piece of trim to the bottom and top and then two pieces in the middle to make it look like one big piece instead of 3 dinky cheapo ones.

I LOVE IT!

Spring piano recital

05 03 13 1777 from kmt63 on Vimeo.

Marcus and his awesome teacher, Tonya Robertson.

Marcus had his spring recital while I was in Utah for Women's Conference. I was sad to miss it but felt like I had a good grasp on what the songs sounded like after listening to them for weeks and weeks :) I told Tim to record it and because my husband is a saint, he not only recorded it, but managed to hold a wiggly baby while doing so. Also, he made treats to bring--yummy homemade treats. So when you hear a baby "commenting" on the music Marcus is playing, think of that saintlike man who I am lucky enough to be married to.

And doesn't Marcus look just adorable? I am so proud of him and all the hard work he put into MEMORIZING two songs. Talented and handsome. Look out world!

My book that was written by not me

I saw this in Anthropologie last week while I was enjoying some girl time (hooray!) I really like walking around that store even though everything is WAAAY over my price range. Luckily for me, window shopping is free :) Anyway, I saw this book and feel like it should probably be given to me at some point in my life by someone who knows and loves me. Just a friendly suggestion.

Making water

Playing in the mud at cousin Ian's house. Ian's mom is nicer than me :)

With all this beautiful weather lately, the little boys have been spending most of their time outside. We have two dirt boxes that are for their use and they spend most of their time in one or the other of these pushing their trucks around, digging holes, making dirt balls and cakes, filling the wagon with rocks, dumping the rocks out and on and on. I pretty much let them have the run of the backyard but there is one thing I am dang strict about and that is NO WATER. In other words, no hose in the dirt box and no cups filled with water in the bathroom and then carried out to the dirt box, and no "Mom, can I have a drink?" but secretly I am going to take my cup of water to the dirt box. The other day, they were really into building roads on the back patio and I peaked out to see them smearing water all around the ground and spreading it out with their little broom and stomping around in it to make footprints and other patterns. Hmmmm. I hadn't heard the hose turn on. I hadn't given them a drink of water. I hadn't heard them in the bathroom filling up cups at the sink. I opened the back door and asked, very casually I might add, "Wow. Where'd you get the water?" Owen jumped up, grabbed his crotch (Michael Jackson style) and shouted triumphantly:
"From our bodies!"
I looked at the huge pool of liquid on the patio, and asked rather horrified, "You mean this is pee?" I think my disgust was evident in my voice because they were quick to look at each other and try to back track. They hemmed and hawed until Owen eventually said,"
"Umm, no, it's from the  . . .  the . . . prickly trees." (said while looking frantically around the yard. Eli was no help.)
We hosed the place down and I gave them a lecture on peeing in the toilet and ONLY the toilet.
Oh. My. Word.

Tree pruning

 We've lived in our house for 6 years, now (holy cow!) and for the past few years we've been talking about how we needed to prune our 6 trees. They were sgraggly, overgrown, and our neighbors probably thought we were the worst. But when my Mom once mentioned how much she thought it would cost to get the trees pruned, we quietly threw up in our mouths and didn't pursue the whole pruning thing. Until this year! I talked to a few neighbors who had trees that had been pruned in such a way that made me think, "Wow, those are some lovely trees," and I called those companies and got some quotes and chose one that I felt was reasonable. Lucky for us, they came to prune our trees during Spring Break, so all the boys could watch and be amazed. I was also amazed. Too bad Tim had to go to work, but I guess someone needs to be responsible. It's okay, though, because I took pictures :)

 I mean, look! Look how high that guy is. He just climbed right up there--and he is holding a chainsaw! Here's a tip: make sure your pruning service is insured.

The boys had a really cool vantage point for all that chainsaw, crazy tree-climbing action. These pictures makes me realize how trashy my backyard is. Tim was lamenting his poor lawn a few days ago because there were lots of piles of dirt and rocks and other random things and I just said something like, "They are playing outside a lot more in this nice weather and they are having so much fun. Let's just let them play and have a fancy nice backyard later." 

Sometimes I can be so wise and zen.

When your kids play outside in your trashy backyard for hours, it is easy to be wise and zen.