Something very sad happened to us on Thursday. I’ve thought about whether to write about it here and have decided that I want to. I’ve joked with people in the past about what I write about on my blog. It’s sort of the place where I can create my life stories. I can edit or embellish however I want and I’m almost always seeking for a humorous quality. This blog has been a creative outlet for me and I’m grateful for that. However, this blog is also a place where my family and friends can check in to see how we are doing and what we are up to—that’s what it says right up there under “Richey Family,” and I want all of you to know what happened, what is happening to our little family right now.
Back in February I had a miscarriage. I was only about 6 or 7 weeks along. One morning I just started cramping and bleeding. It was a terrible experience and I won’t really say anymore than that.
In July I found out I was pregnant again. Of course I was nervous, but I had good feelings about the pregnancy. I’d been told that several women will experience at least one miscarriage during their lives and I felt that I’d had that one miscarriage and was safe. I also reminded myself several times that my pregnancy with Marcus had been healthy and uneventful. In short, I had every reason to hope that this third pregnancy would be perfectly normal.
At 10 weeks I went in for my first prenatal appointment. Before seeing my doctor, I was scheduled to have an ultrasound. I was excited to hear the heartbeat for the first time and to see the baby. I did get to see the baby, but there was no heartbeat and amidst kind words and comfort, I was told that I would miscarry in the next few days. I am not exaggerating when I say that day was one of the hardest I have ever had to experience.
My mom was here with us for the weekend as we waited and then finally the miscarriage started on Sunday night.
We were very quiet about the first miscarriage, but that is not how I want to handle things now. I want people to know that this has happened to us. These two miscarriages are a part of my life now and the real purpose of this blog is to share my life with my family and friends. Most likely, the tone of this blog will go right back to what it has been: light and funny with lots of stories and pictures of Marcus, but today I just needed to write about something that has touched my life in a very real and very sad way.
13 comments:
Katie - I'm so sorry to hear about your two losses. I've recently had two friends who also miscarried and I've seen how hard can be. We'll keep your family in our prayers. I love you!
Oh, that's so....sucky. Am I allowed to use that word here? There are a few things in life that deserve the term, if you ask me.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I've been terrified at the idea of loss with this new pregnancy, partially because Patrick was so easy to get here and now that it took months and months to get pregnant, I feel like I'm just hanging on by my fingernails I'm so worried.
I'm glads you decided to talk about it. In fact, one of the reasons I endorse early pregnancy announcements is that I hate the idea of suffering in silence if things don't go well. We will also be praying for you and your family. It can be so hard on everyone. Good luck in the next days and weeks. We love you.
Katie, I'm so sorry. There's probably not much I could say to help you right now, but know that we're thinking about you and praying for you and your family.
Katie, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Luke and I often talk about why it's so easy for some people to have children and not so easy for others. It is one of lives mysteries.
Oh Katie, I'm so sorry.
Katie, I also am glad you decided to share this. I have always thought that even if someone decides to keep their pregnancy a secret for awhile, they should tell someone so that if something happens they have a friend to help them through it. You have a lot of friends and we are all sad for you and love you. Mike and I will pray for you and Tim.
Thank you all so much for all of your kind words. It really means a lot to us. It makes me glad I decided to share.
Katie,
I am so sorry about your miscarriages. I recognize that nothing I can say will really make you feel better, but do know that I will surely be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. And though I'm sure you'll be innundated with unsolicited advice, here's some of the most helpful advice I've ever received: feel what you feel when you feel it. Interpret and use that as it's helpful to you.
Much love,
Rachel
I love you guys!!!
Katie and Tim!
I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now! I just hope you know that you are loved by so many people and we are all glad that you decided to share the news so we can show our love and support to you now. You are both amazing people and I'm so glad I can call you family!!
You are in my prayers. I am glad you decided to share. It helps to talk about it. It is a hard thing to go through, you will have a lot of emotions. Take it easy for awhile.
Love ya lots.
I have never had a miscarriage myself, but I can imagine that losing a child can only be expressed as the greatest hell on earth. Each of us is sent here to receive a body, and I believe that an unborn baby is one as well. If I was there with you, I would put my arms around you and give you a big hug. Nothing I can say will change the fact that you are grieving, but your courage in sharing your experience is amazing. I agree, sometimes just talking about it really helps to let out some of the pain. You are in my prayers. XOXO
Katie, we love you & Tim so much and are so grateful for you and Marcus in our lives. I, too, have not gone through what you have, but my heart is breaking still for you. I am glad your mom was able to come up for the weekend even if she wasn't there for the actual miscarriage. You guys are always in our prayers and thoughts. Thank you for sharing. We have had several miscarriages in our extended family and none of them have been easy to get through. Have faith and you will one day be able to raise all your children in the gospel. I am still crying tears for you but I know the Lord knows what you are going through because he has seen & felt your pain before. Thank goodness for the plan of salvation! Love to you guys as always!
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